ABSMAN SACHS MARKET CAP : BILLIONS ABSMAN SACHS MARKET CAP : BILLIONS ABSMAN SACHS MARKET CAP : BILLIONS ABSMAN SACHS MARKET CAP : BILLIONS
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Absman Sachs

The World's Premier Meme Investment Bank

Bringing Wall Street expertise to the absurd world of meme tokens. We make money work for memes.

Absman Sachs Building

About Absman Sachs

Founded by a group of degens who couldn't get jobs at actual investment banks, Absman Sachs brings financial memes to the masses.

Financial Expertise

Our team watched "The Wolf of Wall Street" at least three times, so you know we're qualified to handle your investments.

Premium Services

We offer the same services as Goldman Sachs, but with 100% more memes and 100% less actual financial advice.

Elite Clientele

Our clients include some of the most prestigious names in crypto, like @DogeWhisperer69 and @MoonboiXXX.

How to Invest

Becoming an Absman Sachs investor is easier than getting a job at Goldman Sachs.

1

Create a Wallet

Download MetaMask or another wallet app. Try not to forget your password immediately.

M
2

Buy ETH

Fund your Wallet - Transfer Ethereum to your wallet. Don't forget we're headquartered on Abstract.

ETH
3

Swap for $ABSM

Visit Uniswap, connect your wallet, and swap ETH for $ABSM using our contract address.

0xAb5m4n5aCh5t0k3n420694206942069
4

HODL & Profit

Congratulations! You're now an Absman Sachs investor. Tell everyone you know about your sophisticated investment strategy.

Strategic Roadmap

Our carefully planned strategy to dominate the meme finance sector.

Q2 2025

Token Launch

Q3 2025

Global Domination

Q4 2025

Even Bigger Global Domination

2026

Nuclear Global Domination

Join Our Community

Connect with fellow Absman Sachs investors and stay updated on our latest financial memes.